Restlessness

I can't sleep, or at least, I can't sleep enough for me. Someone once told me that piscese people really need their rest, and I believe it, silly as I'll say horoscopes are. If I don't get at least 8 hours a night, I do things like show up to meetings with my boss an hour early (I guess that shows both an increase in anxiety while being completely out of it). Even in college when everyone else would run on 4 hours a night because of studying, or go out late Thursday nights senior year, I was sleeping. And I didn't even have class Fridays, but I liked to get to work early. So I'm feeling like shit, and I've decided I need to vent somewhere anonymously, like this blog. It has two benefits: as something to do instead of stare at the clock getting more and more frustrated, and also to avoid burdening other people with my complaining. Because that's what this is. Complaining. About how much I hate my wedding.

What freak woman doesn't want a wedding, dreads it in fact? That would be me. So here is where I'll talk about it. Maybe someone will actually identify, which would shock me, because right now, no one I know understands how I feel except my fiancé. And I wouldn't necessarily expect them to, because I don't really want to give them an earful, but it would be nice if sometimes many of them would remember that I'm the same unfussy, impatient, driven and unromantic person I always was. A wedding doesn't change that, and I'm sick of being expected to act, let alone feel like a "bride." I really hate that term.